Why Your Past Explains You, But Does Not Define You
You Are Not Your Hardest Chapter
This week, Two Streets Named Hard was featured on Niblits, a platform that reviews books worth chewing on. They picked up on one of the most important truths in my book:
Your past may explain your patterns, but it does not get to define your identity.
That difference is everything. Because too many of us confuse what happened to us with who we are.
It’s the difference between a scar and a wound. The scar tells a story, but it doesn’t mean you’re still bleeding.
When Your Story Becomes a Script
Here’s what happens when pain masquerades as identity. You stop saying, “I went through something hard,” and start saying, “I am broken. I am too much. I am not enough.”
Your nerve system wires those words into you. Each time you repeat them, you deepen the loop. Myelin wraps those thought-pathways in layers until they fire on autopilot, long after the actual moment has passed.
And before you know it, your past isn’t just part of your story—it’s running your script. It tells you how to act, what to expect, and even what you are allowed to hope for.
That is not freedom. That is captivity disguised as safety.
God Writes a Different Name
This is why I love the way God works with names throughout Scripture.
God renamed Abram, which meant “exalted father,” to Abraham, “father of many nations.” His name no longer pointed only to honor in his household but to the promise that his descendants would shape the world.
God renamed Jacob, “the deceiver,” to Israel, “one who wrestles with God.” The trickster who grasped for blessings not meant for him became the patriarch of a people defined by covenant relationship, not scheming.
Saul, meaning “desired,” was renmed Paul, meaning “small” or “humble.” The man who had pursued status and control was transformed into a servant whose strength came not from power but from surrender.
God does not erase their past story. He reclaims their identity. The old name carried the weight of the past. The new name carried the truth of their future.
And He still does this with us. You may have carried labels like “unworthy,” “unwanted,” or “failure.” But those were never the names He gave you. They may have explained a chapter, but they are not the title of your book.
God calls you beloved. Forgiven. Chosen. Mighty warrior. He does not whisper those words as platitudes. He declares them as identity.
From Woundedness to Wholeness
When you live from wounded identity, you start making choices from that place. You choose relationships, jobs, and habits that confirm the lie you’ve been carrying.
But the moment you separate what happened to you from who you are, the cycle begins to break.
Your Reticular Activating System, the brain’s internal filter, shifts its assignment. Instead of scanning for proof of failure, it starts scanning for evidence of freedom. Slowly, new pathways strengthen. Slowly, hope takes root. And eventually, you begin to live not as someone defined by pain, but as someone led by promise.
A Practice to Try
Here’s a simple practice to begin today:
Complete this sentence: “My story includes _______, but my identity is _______.”
Write it down. Read it out loud. Let your body feel the difference between carrying pain and carrying identity.
This is how you start rewiring. Not through force or pretending nothing happened, but through truth spoken, repeated, and lived. Each time you do, you are rewiring your nerve system to believe it. Myelin wraps those new pathways with repetition. Soon, the old labels weaken and the new identity strengthens.
Your past is not your prison. It is your preparation. Every scar carries wisdom and compassion the world desperately needs, but you are not the wound.
You are the healed one, the whole one, the chosen one, walking into the future God has already named you for.
Dr Barbara Eaton
P.S. I write more about this in Two Streets Named Hard, especially Chapter 1, where I share how my own life was nearly defined by past pain until I learned to make the break between story and identity. You’ll see how to drop the labels you were never meant to wear and step into the name God has given you from the beginning.
📣 Already reading? Post a review on Amazon and message me—I’d love to hear how it’s shifting your story.